Lovely Louise Gray is back in the Telegraph to tell us about Climate change resistant strawberries (the oceans are dying, the Maldives will disappear, all wildlife will become extinct, the seas will rise up to quench the burning landscape but we’ll still be able to enjoy a strawberry – without the cream of course because we have to slaughter all the farty cows) . Thanks to “man-made climate change” (stop giggling at the back), she tells us;
Areas like Kent, which have traditionally grown the most fruit, could see Mediterranean temperatures and regular droughts.
The weather could will [sic] not only make tennis players sweat but could destroy strawberry crops putting the traditional mid-match snack or even the dressing of the Pimm’s at risk.
To counter any risk, Caroline Spelman, the Environment Secretary, yesterday launched a programme to develop varieties able to survive on less water and last in the heat.
More than £670,000 has been given to a five-year research project being carried out by scientists at East Malling Research (EMR).
Dr David Simpson from EMR is trying to develop new breeds that will enable British growers to keep on producing strawberries in high temperatures.
Isn’t it nice to see Caroline Spelman addressing the big issues? You or I would just take the silly, pragmatic approach and plant strawberries close to those huge fans they’re plonking all over the countryside but no – why do the obvious thing when we can
waste utilise taxpayers’ money on vital research?
Mind you, that £670,000 would seem to be a waste of money. Spain – which last time I visited was about as Mediterranean as you can get – grows vast numbers of strawberries….
…much to the displeasure of the godawful, anti-human NGO, the World Wildlife Fund who, as always, have long been
inventing predicting environmental catastrophe.
Unbelievably, wee Louise includes the information that “Most of the fruit in this country is already grown in poly tunnels…” oblivious to the irony that the purpose of the polytunnel is to provide the strawberries with a warmer growing environment.
If I were Littlejohn I’d say that you couldn’t make it up.
But they do.