If you believe everything you read, better not read*

Time Traveller Girl II has been in touch. She doesn’t tweet, she doesn’t text, she doesn’t ping, she doesn’t write on my wall, she doesn’t Skype, she doesn’t nudge, she doesn’t even e-mail:  … she phones. How very 19th century..

Her man departed for Tokyo yesterday and thus wins my best-in-class award for extreme dedication in the 2011 Census Avoidance Strategems category – previously, my favourite was based on the infamous question 17 and involved answering every question with ‘The answer to this question is intentionally left blank’; but leaving the country for six months shows real class.

On top of that, her man departed – in a four-turbojet-engined, fossil-fuel guzzling, CO2-spewing jumbo jet – during International Earth Hour no less (no, me neither). Kudos.

However, to the point: Time Traveller Girl II’s man has been in touch and reports that all is well in Tokyo. There are no mutants and nobody appears to be discharging copious amounts of static electricity or in possession of a vivid green aura. The talk of nuclear armageddon proves to be just another scare story.

We’ve survived AIDS and swine flu and SARS and vCJD and bird flu and Y2K: Chernobyl only killed about 50 people and now Fukushima has remained stubbornly intact. The supermoon came and went. The new Ice Age morphed into Global Warming and now it looks as though that may morph back into Global Cooling again.

But don’t panic about having nothing to panic about – we can still be destroyed by an invisible ‘X’ galaxy or a supernova

Oh, and we’ve still got 2012 to look forward to…. We’re all going to die after all!

* Japanese proverb

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This entry was posted in Adventures in Time Travel, Credulous journalism, Media and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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